Saturday, August 23, 2008

Shopping By Oxford On A Rainy Evening

Okay. I'm no Twiggy. But real women need not apply clothing in the shopping venues around Oxford Square, a town that has everything . . . almost.

Having cleared out the fat clothes within the confines of my closet and with the promise of half-off sales in tow, I set out to find a smart "little" dress which might be worn with a pair of leggings . . . which just might hide a few more pounds. Our savvy Square beckoned for a chic try.

The clothes. If you can getting a running start over your head while facing east repeating a mantra seven times you just might get the tops to clear the boobs. They were designed for a matchstick of a woman. Certainly not a woman who breastfed through her thirties, certainly not for a woman staring mid-age in the eye. After all, old hag shops are not likely to pipe out 'Lil Wayne over the store speakers.

Boy, are those clothes cute? Boy, do they make me feel ancient? Boy, do I care? Well, yes.

Where are the real women? Not around the Square. They won't fit. Size 0. Size 1. Are there really that many zipper shaped gals funding these boutiques waifing around the town?

The leggings. I didn't even bother. Doubt that those one-size-fit all jobs the "Miss Behavin'" store touts will contain legs that pedal a mountain bike through the root filled trails of Taylor. I'm not sure these ladies have ever really misbehaved. They're too young. Too little. Too perfect.

Why punish myself and further horrify the tiny store clerks with my smart-assed, or should I say large-assed comments?

Well, guess there has to be some fun to be found there other than squishing into the smallest large sizes on the planet all conveniently nestled within arm's reach of the hip "little" shops around Oxford.

Yep, it's a small town.


Anonymous said...

I certainly understand your frustrations of a "small town." The bright side to all of this is they will one day feel the same as you. The not so bright side says as long as you live near the size 0 campus of Ole Miss, you may never fit the matchstick size large.

However, real women eat chocolate AFTER riding through the muddy trails of Taylor.

cynthia howle said...

Thanks. I feel better already. And I love dark chocolate.

Anonymous said...

My, my, my doesn't that make me feel better! At least I am not the only one with that problem. Lets be realistic. I have earned every pound, sagging or otherwise that I have.I have also enjoyed every minute of it.
You go girl!!!

Emily said...

This just might be my favorite post thus far! I laughed out loud more than once. Especially "it just might clear the boobs."

Super writing and super true. I NEVER, mind you NEVER grace those wanna be woman shops with my voluptuous presence. A girl's gotta keep her ego!

cynthia howle said...

Spoken like a REAL woman.